Turn Off The Lights

I'm 99% sure that I am an assassin in my sleep. It's the only explanation I can come up with as to why I wake up with bruises and scratches all over me. This morning I woke up with a swollen eye. I've woken up with a swollen set of lips several times. This is my second time waking up to a swollen eye!!!!

So, yeah I am an assassin. Although not a very good one it seems, because I'm the one getting all bruised and bloody. At least I get to wear leather and carry a gold Desert Eagle. I've also come to realize that I shot 2Pac. That would explain why he haunts me. For this I am very sorry. I actually really really like Tupac. More than Biggie (don't shoot me. I will shoot back. My gun is gold!)

They call me Oz.

Watch out bitches,
Oz

Paper Gangsta

Omgosh it feels like I haven't blogged in a hundred years! My computer got a virus and crashed within 1.2 seconds! It was only for a week, but I swear I was starting to go a little batty. I'm so technology dependent, it's sad. It wasn't a complete waste of a week though, because while my computer was in the hospital I did read two AMAZING books!

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov and The Uses of Enchantment by Heidi Julavits. Omgoodness I can't even begin to explain to you what Lolita did to me. I had to wait two days before starting another book, because I had to pick myself back up. Definitely not for the faint of heart. So, after I finished Lolita I couldn't read just any book. I have standards and expectations now! Then I remembered this book I had bought a while ago and never got around to reading. The Uses of Enchantment!!!!!!!!! Ahhh the perfect follow up to my beloved Lolita! If you don't read books, just read these two and then you're set for life.

I also picked up a couple of albums. Taylor Swift, Kanye West, Lauryn Hill, and Lady Gaga. Here's a couple of my favorites.

Love Story
Hey Stephen
White Horse
You Belong With Me
You're Not Sorry

Forever & Always

Love Lockdown

Heartless

Welcome To Heartbreak

Robocop

Paranoid

See You In My Nightmere

Street Nights

Just Dance

Beautiful Dirty Rich

Pokerface

Boys Boys Boys

The Fame

Brown Eyes

Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)

LoveGame

I Like It Rough

I wrote out a list of my favorite songs and then I realized I listed the whole album lmao!

Peace & love!

Is This Love?

Jane and I should never see movies together! We always end up talking through out the whole thing and laughing at parts that are so not meant to be laughed at! We went to go see Twilight again and this time was no different. But let's be serious everyone there already saw the movie 500 times too!

You see, Jane and I watch movies differently from other people. Why focus on the main characters when the background people are the ones who need to be watched?!

So, we have come to the conclusion that the dude who plays Tyler is the real star of Twilight. This dude manages to be in background of every scene and just gives his best sexy face to the camera!

Next up is the Dominican pimp. He sits behind Edward in the only class Forks High School offers: Biology. I loved him, because in each scene he was talking to a different girl. I see ya pimpin! Jane hated him, because she claimed he had a lumpy forehead and whenever he was in the background she would go "Ugh, he goes lumpy!"

My personal favorite hero of the movie is the black guy at prom! Everyone else at prom is doing those weird hand movements that white people call dancing, while the black dude is dancing like his life depends on it. I LOVE HIM!

Lmao my friend Merima is texting me, and she asked me if Robert Pattinson looked hot in Twilight, and I'm like uhhh he looks the same as he did the last two times you saw the movie! And yes Rob totally makes me jizz in my pants!

Okay, I'm going back to bed and snuggling up with Luna.

Peace and Love,
Ashley Venus

LaLa

I rarely ever go out after work, but I'm trying to be a bit more social. So, after work I hooked up with my friend Merima, and we went to go hang out at a little Hookah lounge. It was great. I love being around an atmosphere that's just totally laid back and chill. We went to this really dark hole in the wall that I just totally fell in love with! The lights were dimmed so low, middle eastern decorations, comfy couches, and Arabic music playing lightly in the background. If it weren't for all the smoke (duh) I could have chilled there all night. :)

Oh! And the people were super friendly and gave us all our drinks and food on the house!

Dreaming With A Broken Heart

Why the heck can I never remember my freakin' password for this bloggy thing of mine?! Oh yeah... HAPPY NEW YEAR! And Happy Birthday to my little man Daniel!

Can you believe we're in 2009 already? Time flies by so fast before I know it I'll be 30. Oh God. When 2008 rolled around I wrote down (or rather typed) a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish this past year. Some I never got around to doing, but I actually managed to do a lot of it! I'm very proud of myself lol.

I'm just thinking off of the top of my head, but here's a list of things I want to do this year.

• Learn to read music and play an instrument: It's a toss up of either the guitar or the piano. Whichever comes out cheaper haha! Just kidding! I'm leaning more towards the guitar. It just seems way more badass than the piano. Plus, guitar solos make me cry. True story.
• Learn Spanish: I'm Puerto Rican, so it's probably a good idea.
• Blog more: Self explanatory.
• Have an awesome 20th birthday!: I thought my 19th birthday rocked. What could be better than getting drag queen lap dances and tattoos?! I want to top that.

That's just me thinking off the top of my head in between singing and dancing to Bob Marley. God bless my neighbors!

Happy New Year,

Ashley Venus