Last Night

I think I broke my toe. I was dancing around in my room last night and I banged my foot into my wooden bed. I wrapped it last night and it's still hurting today. "If you broke your toe you wouldn't be able to walk and you would in so much pain." Words of wisdom from my Mother. Whatever. My toe is broken. It's freakin' crooked for crying out loud! And I'm not just being a baby about it, because as I've come to learn in recent months, I actually have a high tolerance for pain.

Tattoo on my foot right on the bone? Didn't hurt. Tragus and Helix piercings? No pain. Getting shot with paintballs in my neck at a very close range? Not too bad. Banging my foot up against my bed? HURT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER!

This doesn't surprise me too much, because I've managed to do the following in just one week:

• Bang my foot up against another person's bed. Probably why it's broken now. Double impact.
• Walk into a glass door. Not as funny as it sounds. I really hurt my toe doing that and I almost broke my phone.
• Trip over a dog in Central Park. Stupid dog.
• Fall going up the stairs in my living room. There's only two steps, but I slipped on my flip flops. I banged up my knee pretty badly and hurt my toe.
• I also somehow managed to go deaf in my right ear. I've regained my hearing, but thank God I'm fluent in Sign Language. Now that I think about it, I think I just had water stuck in my ear. And I'm not really all that fluent in Sign Language, but I can say "water" and "milk" and quite frankly I think that's all I need to know.

My poor toe she never did anything to me and look at the way I treat her. I painted her neon purple to make her feel happy again.

Princess Klutz,

Ashley Venus