One Fine Wire

These past two week have been insane! Let me start from beginning...

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
PCOS is a hormonal disease where a woman tends to produce more male hormones than female. Which can cause a woman to stop getting her period. Blah blah blah I don't really know what it is, but what I do know is that I didn't get my period for 2 months. Major freak out on my end! I should warn you now that I can be a bit of a hypochondriac. So, I did some Google research and came up with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Of course that's what I have! I mean duh. So, I booked an appointment with a gynecologist just to confirm what I already knew. This was my first visit to the vajayjay doctor and talk about awkward!

Turns out I don't have PCOS and I actually did end up getting my period. So, now I'm on birth control to regulate my period. I swear if my boobs get any bigger I'm jumping off a bridge!

My Job
I got fired. I kinda called my boss a hypocritical, immature, childish, liar. The word "cunt" may have been thrown in there. I don't know. Maybe. Now, I'm not one to start yelling and calling people names, but when you refuse to pay me, you have it coming! So, I got fired for saying the truth, and to be honest I am so happy about! At first I was pissed, but when I started calling clients and some said they would still stick with me, I felt so free! No more retarded E-mails! No more "business meetings"! No more phone calls at 6 in the morning!

I know it probably sounds like I have some corporate job, which would be cool for only being 19, but I don't. I am a dog walker. Yep! You would not believe how much drama comes with this job! So, now I work for myself, and it feels so good to still be working with the same dogs.

And I just want to say thanks to my friend Nicole, who still works with my old company, for being there for me. One of my dog's needed daycare and Nicole met me early in the morning just to hangout. It was actually really nice, because the Columbus Ave. street fair was going on.

Rocco

Isn't he just the cutest?! This is the dog who needed daycare, because his Dad had "business", but it turns out he actually tried to kill himself. Crazy shit huh? So, he deemed himself an unfit parent and asked me to take care of his dog. Rocco is one of my favorite dog's, so I said yes! Listen, I know I have a Miniature Pinscher, but I don't actually lilke small dog's. I love my small dog. Big difference. I like the breeds that everybody else is afraid of. My dream dog is a Rottweiler, but a Pit Bull will do. Besides I love Rocco.

Turns out my Mom was terrified of him. She wouldn't even give me a hug if he was near me. The poor dog didn't do anything to make her that scared. She made me give him back to his previous owner. I understand that my Mom is scared of big dog's, especially of breed's that have a bad reputation attached to them like Pit's, but I'm still pissed about it! I've alway's wanted a big doggy and to me Rocco wasn't even that big. Labrador Retriever's and (stupid) Golden Retriever's are bigger.

How the hell did my blog become dedicated to dog's?! Ugh! I can't help it though, I just love those four legged creatures!

Peace & Love,

Ashley Venus

Sure Looks Good To Me

There's this great store on the Upper West Side for dogs called Canine Ranch. They sell the cutest accessories for dogs and even have a bakery where you can buy your dog an all natural birthday cupcake. This store is not cheap. It's a small store where only two women work and you kind of feel forced to buy something. This is not a store where "just looking" is an option. The first time I went there I ended up leaving with a $60 dog feeder. Today I spent $90 on just a leash and collar. I'm such a sucker.

This is going to be a very random blog post. Say hello to the real me! In real life my thoughts and conversations are all over the place and aren't so carefully pieced together. Writing is better. I can construct and edit my thoughts the way I really mean for them to come out. I only worry if the reader (all 2 of you!) is able to detect the tone I am trying to convey and do I come off convincingly? Can you tell when I am being sarcastic? Serious? Hurt? Yeah, my blog hasn't gotten all that deep yet and sorry I am rambling.

But while I am on the topic of emotions why is it that some people seem to think I don't have any? It hurts me so much when someone say's "you cry? Really? I can't picture you crying." I've heard that a number of times from friends and it makes me think, do you even know me at all? Are we even really friends? Yeah, we have a good time together, but are we friends?

Another one I got recently was "I don't think you could ever be mad. Not for long anyway." I must say I think that's a whole lot better than the whole me not crying thing, but I still made a face and made him explain himself. He said not that he doesn't think I get mad, but that whenever we talk I seem like such a happy person, that he doesn't think somebody can upset me for very long. And when I really thought about it he's right! I am a happy person. Even when life seems like it isn't always going my way (and life does that, so you better get used to it) I'm still happy. Why shouldn't I be? I'm alive, I'm breathing, I'm healthy, and I have a family that loves me. That's all that matters.

Of course I cry (all the time actually), get angry, feel sad, lonely, hurt, and any other human emotion you can come up with. I am human and I feel them all. But he's right it doesn't last for very long. I am naturally a happy person and it's hard for someone else to break that. When I was younger I used to spend so much time being angry and holding grudges. I don't do that anymore. I'd rather be laughing and having a good time. Being angry just takes up too much time and energy. I'd rather channel that energy on myself instead of on someone else who probably doesn't even matter and most likely isn't even thinking about me.

It's also so important to cherish the little things in life. People make fun of me for getting excited over little things, but what can I say? The little things make me happy. I get super excited to start a new book. I love spoiling my dog and my ungrateful rabbit. I jump for joy when I get a new magazine in the mail. (BTW where is my Elle magazine?! Aren't I supposed to get it before it hits news stands?)

Anywho, sorry for rambling and getting philosophical on ya, just got a lot on my mind!

Peace, love, and harmony,

Ashley Venus

Let The Beat Build

::Sigh:: MTV how you never fail to disappointment me!

I was actually looking forward to this year's award show, because they actually picked somebody who I thought would be a good host. Russell Brand was HILARIOUS in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and I thought he made a pretty decent host, but I think he went a little overboard with all the Jonas Brothers virginity remarks. And judging by the audience reactions I'm not the only who thought so. Kudos to you Jordin Sparks for going off script and sticking up for what you believe it!

Other than that I thought he made an okay host. He get's major props for calling George Bush a retarted cowboy! OBAMA '08!! Sorry just had to! Anywho, my beef isn't with Russell Brand it's with the big suits up at MTV. ENOUGH WITH GIMMICKS! Last year your show felt all over the place, because you had people performing in hotel suites instead of on actual stages, and this year you've done the same thing! Seriously?! Performances on the back lot at Paramount? Really?!

MTV hasn't been relevant when it comes to music for some time now, so I honestly think they shouldn't even be giving out music awards. MTV is all about hype, publicity, and reality shows. They've lost all the credibility they once had. Also, the last time I remember the VMA's actually being a hot show, was back in 2003 when Chris Rock hosted.

Never the less, even knowing that the Britney Spears "opening" was all hype, knowing that the show was going to suck, and knowing that MTV was going to kiss Britney Spears' ass by giving her all the awards she was nominated for, I still made my way over to my best friend Alcides' house and had a little VMA viewing party in our pajamas. :)

Peace & Love,
Ashley Venus

P.S. I did think Britney looked really pretty and I'm so happy she was able to form a coherent sentence!

The Little Things

Aren't they so cute?! That's my nephew Daniel and my nieces Eve and Ruby.

On Saturday my whole family and I went to the Bronx Zoo and it was lovely. We were rolling deep! We had like 9 kids with us haha! But thank you God they were all on their best behaviour!

I had such a good time though, because I got to see my brother's Father who I hadn't seen in forever! And I got to meet my brother's other two sister's, who I apparently met when I was younger, but have no memory of them lol.

Contrary to what my brother may say I actually love old people. Especially when they tell me stories about how things were when they were growing up. Movies used to be a dollar?! STFU! And that's exactly how it was on Saturday, with my brother's Dad just reminiscing about how the neighborhood used to be when he was a kid. Hearing stories like that just make me feel good inside. I remeber when I was little my Grandma would tell me stories about her 10 brothers and sisters and how it was growing up in Puerto Rico. Once my Grandma asked me to tell her a story and I didn't have anything to say. I felt really bad bout it too, like "ugh my life is so boring!" I used to pray that when I got older I would have a couple of funny stories to tell my kids.

Ha, I think I've got a couple of good stories to tell now ;)

Ashley Venus