Freak Like Me

I am a virgin. Oooh.

I always wonder why people are so surprised to learn this about me. Maybe it's because I have a tendency to talk very bluntly while I am with friends? Is it because I have big boobs? Haha. Or is it because I am 19 and that's what I'm "supposed" to be doing at this age? There are a lot of things kids (yes, I said kids. I believe I still have a long way before I am able to call myself an adult) my age do that I just do not partake it.

I am not a prude. I am not a very religious person. I wasn't a sheltered child. In fact, I saw a lot growing up. I learned the consequences to certain actions while I was very young. My Grandmother had 3 daughters and my Mom is the only living child. Both of their lives ended because of drugs and AIDS. Now, my younger cousin Jason has to grow up without a Mom. He is angry and I can see that. My Mom had my older brother when she was only 16. My cousin Michael is a drug addict and everyday I see him wasting away. I saw my Dad getting high when I was only 7. My Grandfather was an alcoholic...

So, there are just certain things that I do not do, because I know better. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I know what sex does to you when you're not ready for it. I know not all sex results in an STD or pregnancy. Not everybody who drinks becomes an alcoholic. Not everyone who indulges in recreational drugs becomes a fullblown drug addict. I know that. But I've seen way too much of that stuff in my life to want any part of that.

As far as sex goes, everybody is different. Everyone has a set of morals and standards for themselves that they live their life by. I have chosen to wait.

Peace & Love,
Ashley Venus

Breaking The Habit

I hate summer. Or rather I hate the person I become during summertime. I become lazy and self indulgent and yeah not such a great combination. I didn't really notice the change that much before, but now that I have a job and responsibilities, it's so blatantly obvious. I'm even being lazy as I type this! I danced and sang along to three songs before typing my third sentence...

Part of the blame goes to the heat. I hate it! Just knowing that it's blazing outside makes me so unmotivated (unless I'm going to the beach or the pool, of course) and sluggish. Also, I am so not a morning person. Just look at the time I'm writing this; Midnight! Ugh, I should be sleeping! I really need to break out of lazy mode, because I don't like being known as the girl who "is always late." And it's also not fair to my fabulous friends. Just this past weekend I made my friend and I miss out on what was sure to be a wonderful and relaxing afternoon kayaking because I was late. I'm sorry. I will buy you a taco the next time we hangout.

In my defense I did have 3 dogs to walk, a bunny to take care of, and some work drama to sort out. But that's not what made me late. I was watching TV. And I loath television! Okay enough with the self-deprecating, because I am breaking the habit! Tomorrow.

For the rest of the week (and hopefully the weeks to follow) I will:

• Wake up at a timely manner. That way I have time to do all my blog reading and lounging around and still manage to get to work on time.
• Get as much stuff done at night as possible, so I have more time to do nothing in the morning.
• Keep my room clean. I hate looking at this mess, but I am too lazy to clean it. See how this works?

Let's see how well I do,

Ashley Venus

Prelude To A Kiss

I've sat here for an hour trying to figure out to start off my blog and have come up with nada...

It's been more than a year since I last kept a blog and have been itching to get back into blogging mode for some time now. I feel like now is the best time to start up again, because it's that weird time in my life where I can feel myself transitioning from a kid into an adult (almost). I want to go out and explore, travel, try new things, meet new people, and always be a couple of steps outside of my comfort zone. I want to live a full and authentic life. Now, I'm only 19 and haven't done a lot of the things that I want to do. I still have many bridges and roads to cross to live the life that I imagine for myself, but I want to use this blog as a mean to throw those dreams and desires out into the universe.

I also want to blog a bit differently than I did in the past. I never knew what the heck to title my posts, so instead of worrying about it I just decided to name them after songs on my iTunes. Pretty clever if you ask me haha.

Well kids, it's time for me to peace out this post, and head off to bed.

Kisses,

Ashley Venus