The Time Traveler's Wife

I'm not a critic I just felt like writing a review, okay?

Friday night Jane and I went to go see The Time Traveler's Wife and I was practically peeing my pants with excitement! I loved the book so much. The movie not so much. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it. I just only liked it.

I felt like they rushed the movie. They went from just meeting in the library, to being married, to trying to have a baby, to dying. There was nothing in between to suggest that they actually loved each other.

I also didn't really like Rachel McAdams. I really think she needs to stop making these movies and try something new. Long live Regina George, bitches! But that's besides the point. I didn't think there was a lot of chemistry between her and Eric Bana. I swear he had more of a flow with the little kids who play young Clare and his daughter.

Speaking of which, I really wish they had added a couple more scene's of Henry with young Clare. Those were always my favorite parts in the book!

That's all folks!

-Ashley Venus

P.S. I hate the movie poster! It's making me dizzy!

Ignorance

I always feel the need to brush my teeth and take a shower before I blog. I don't know why. Maybe I feel like my non-readers can tell I have been sitting in my own filth all day watching episode's of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. My bottle of water now taste like mouthwash. Yuck.

Anywho, on Friday I went out with my Jane to celebrate her 20th birthday. We tried to go to Dave & Buster's, but apparently you have to be old to get in there. Wackness. So, we ended up eating dinner at Applebee's which I guess is a good thing, because I'm broke. Haha. Afterwards we went to Chelsea Pier's to go bowling and I'm still not completely sure of how the scoring for that game works. At least my ball was pink.

When we were done bowling I met up with my friend Merima. She's my clubbing buddy and we met at this place called Kiss & Fly. We usually don't have trouble sneaking into places, but for some reason we decided not to give it a go this time. We should have though, because we were on the guest list, and the bouncer looked just like Marcus Schenkenberg haha!

So, we decided to go to Webster Hall and see what all the fuss was about. We freakin' hated it! The place itself was okay. I liked the music and the lights, but I just could not deal with the people in there. First of all they charge you $25 just to get in. (!!) The place was packed with a bunch of kids who think it's okay to grab you and not let go. I seriously had to yell at this one kid with fake Ray-Ban's who thought he was Jay-Z to STOP FUCKIN' TOUCHING ME.

I don't know about anybody else, but I certainly don't appreciate someone grabbing my breasts as I am trying to leave. So yeah probably never going back there again. I did have fun though, because I went with Merima, and just walking down the street with her is a riot.

Things Left Unsaid

A couple weeks ago I wrote an entry about how I had to come to terms with the fact that my friendship with someone isn't what it used to be. Those feelings weren't actually expressed to that person, because... Damnit he was ignoring me. We got into an argument and he was ignoring me, because his "pride level is up there and I didn't wanna talk to you until I felt ready and my temporary grudge was gone." Fair enough. Silly to me, but I'll let him have it.

Anyway that's not what this is really about. I got a package in the mail from him today. My belated birthday present. Earlier I had gotten a text from him asking if I got the package and a simple sorry. Listen, I'm a girl, I need to talk about my feelings okay? So, I couldn't just say thank you. I had to let him know exactly how I felt about the situation and he did the same.

After we got that out of the way I proceeded to tell him that our friendship isn't what it once was. I said that I was tired of being in these friendship where I was putting in more than I was getting. We just aren't best friends anymore. He said we grew apart and things haven't been the same. He also said "the only reason why I chilled with you those times was because I knew that you are a good friend and you would never fuck me over..." It really hurt when he said that, because he made it sound like hanging out with me was an obligation. But I can't be mad at him for being honest.

I really thought I had come to terms with this weeks ago, but hearing confirmation from him is like a fresh wound all over again. It feels like a break up. I guess it sort of is.

-Ashley

Lift Me Up

When I said I wasn't feeling like myself you came and got me. Thank you.

Anywho, I finally went to go see Bruno yesterday with Jane. I loved it! It was so gross and funny and I love every second of it. I actually thought Borat was grosser.

Alright Imma peace out now. Gonna try and finish my book today.

*Ashley Venus

Use Somebody

"I've learned that when you care for someone, you gotta reach out to them, even if it's just to check up on how they're doing. Yea, I'm like that about friends."

This isn't a quote from me, but rather from someone who is supposed to be my best friend. We got into an argument three weeks ago, and I wasn't so mad at what he did, but rather at how his blatant disregard for how his actions made me feel. I was angry at his inconsideration and how he tried to flip things and put the blame on me.

Anyway, I haven't heard from him since. These past couple of weeks have been so hard for me and I really could have used a friend. It's so funny, the most random people have reached out to me, but the person that I call my "best friend" is not there. It makes me sad, because how do you accept that your friendship has come to an end?

These aren't new emotions. I've been feeling for a while that our friendship is not where it once was. You say that you check up on your friends just to see how they're doing. I guess I'm just not in that category. I'm tired of being the one to always reach out. I'm tired of always being there.

For the past year or so whenever I have pointed out to you that you barely call me anymore, you say "Yeah I've been slacking." Well, if you're not too busy to play games on Facebook, then you're not too busy to call or even text me. I think our friendship has run it's course and I'm not going to force anymore out of it.

*Ashley Venus

Disregard that last post..

People are shit.

Say You Will

A while ago I wrote a post talking about how I felt people were insensitive to my feelings. Well this is a continuation of that...

Last night a friend of mine called me to vent about her frustrations and she started crying. Before comforting her I selfishly thought "See, this is what I'm talking about! Who can I call crying?! Nobody!" But after I got off the phone with her I really started to reflect. Every single one of my friends has at one point or another used me as a shoulder to cry on. I love that and feel honored that I'm the one they feel they can trust. I'm always there for someone when they need me, but there is always that little voice in the back of my head that is thinking that I don't have someone to be there for me.

I always felt that people are oblivious that I have real feelings and do get hurt sometimes. But then I thought when have I ever let anybody see that side of me? I've never really shared my heartache with anybody and when I do I tend to down play it. I'm a pretty chatting person, and tend to tell people every detail of my life, but when it comes to something that's bothering me I keep it to myself. I realized last night that I've never given anyone the opportunity to be there for me. For example: Yesterday I wrote a Facebook status talking about how I only have myself in life. One of my friends sent me a text asking if I was okay. I said I was fine and changed the subject.

I always do that! How can I blame anyone for not being there for me when I'm the one who shuts them down? Until last night, for whatever reason, I never realized that I do that.

I also realized that at 20, I don't have it all figured out yet, and that's okay! It was a night of Epiphanies I tell ya!

-Ashley